Emptiness, and Its Profound Implications

Sometimes, no matter what you do, you just can't find any reasonable purpose to finish this journey. Every thing seems rubbish...without any sense.

I have tried to comprehend why this journey has been commenced for me to take...the same way I have wanted to understand why I needed to conclude it. But it seems I will never understand the reasons behind my perplexities.

I am trying to take it a step at a time though. Never mind what is in the future. What is important is the present. I guess that's the bottomline of it all -- how the NOW is lived!

But it is not just in how you live out the 'now'. I have a tendency to overlook the essentials, making me drained out and feeling empty.

Ugh...Where the hell is this emptiness coming from, anyway???

I don't know.

I have tried to indulge in relationships...not necessarily romantic...but it still is the same. At the end of the day, I still feel alone and left out. Even if I have been laughing my heart out with these people, I still feel the sting of emptiness inside me when I lay my head down. Something is still missing...

Passion. A word I have long contemplated on all these years, but have to yet see myself live out. But how?

These queries have been dogging my doorstep...too much that I get annoyed with myself. Why? Because I dont know how nor where the answers will be found!!!

But only the fire can bring warmth to the hearth. How do I kindle that fire?

These vexations make it more complicated. But I guess it boils down to one thing --- living out this journey with passion. Passion to attempt greater things...Passion to live out what is now...Passion to influence others...Passion to discover the purpose for the journey set before me...Passion to know why I am predestined to wind up my own story...Passion to be content with knowing that my questions can never be answered...

I guess...this is the better road to take. But it doesn't end here. Why? Simply because it is not the intensity of the fire that matters...but how long it will keep on burning. In the end, I guess it is not the person who had been more passionate with the journey...but who survived 'til the culmination of it.

So much to think about. I hope it keeps my sanity intact though.

Still.

Breathing.